A Sirius Detour
by RemusSiriusJames
Summary: Oh boy. James is driving a car. Join him, Sirius, Lily and Remus on a thirty mile journey home which contains of firstaid kits, traffic jams and a very bored Sirius. James may be driving the car, but Sirius is driving too Driving everybody absolutley mad.


A Sirius Detour

It was James's first day driving a car - legally. After months of begging, his parents had agreed to let him take lessons when he turned sixteen, and now, being nearly seventeen, and with school starting next month, he could finally travel the Muggle way. What possessed James Potter –a talented broom flier and wizard- to learn to drive? The Potters had moved into a Muggle neighborhood just before James's fourth year at Hogwarts. After hearing that Lily Evans and several other Muggle born students at Hogwarts were getting their licenses, and then meeting a neighbor who had just received his driver's license (and getting a demonstration in the young man's new car), James found a new goal for himself: He would learn to drive. It took forever to convince his parents to allow him to learn and find a driving school (not to mention haggling with grumpy goblins to convert Galleons into Muggle money), but he had finally done it

"Good luck, James," Lily grinned, as she climbed into the car. Sirius and Remus followed, glancing at each other nervously, each clutching what looked like Muggle First Aid kits.

"Why can't we just _fly_ to your house? Or even better, _Apparate_? We know how to, Prongs. Well, sort of," Sirius complained, clutching the kit close to his chest.

James scowled at him over his shoulder. "Will you get rid of those things already? I've _told_ you repeatedly, I have a real license!"

"You did bring an extra one for me, right?" Lily whispered to Sirius with an anxious smile.

James continued to glare at his friends. "If you don't want a ride home, I'll be just as glad to let you walk the thirty miles."

Almost at once, Remus reached over Sirius, and opened the car door.

"MOONY!!"

"Calm down Prongs, I was kidding!" Remus laughed, pulling it shut.

Sirius groaned. "Can we just leave already?"

James stuck the keys into the ignition and glanced at Lily, "Lils? A little help here?"

Lily sighed and turned to the two again. "Sirius! Remus! Don't agitate him!" She lowered her voice to a whisper. "He might get us into an accident!"

"Thanks Lils," James smiled at her gratefully, then started the car and backed it out of the lot.

Sirius coughed suddenly, though it sounded suspiciously like, "Wimp."

The four of them had been together all day, the three boys first Flooing into Diagon Alley and meeting Lily, who drove there. The day had gone fairly well and it wasn't until Lily had agreed to let James drive her car that they gotten into this "unfortunate" position. As James pulled out of the parking lot and onto the street leading to the freeway, Remus sighed in relief at James pulling out of the parking lot without getting them killed and engrossed himself in a book he'd bought at Diagon Alley earlier.

"Hey, not like I care, but where's Peter?" Lily asked after a few minutes of silence, during which Sirius seemed to be holding his breath as James sped up to the freeway speed limit and safely merged with the heavy traffic. Sirius let out his breath in a low whistle and leaned back into his seat

"He said he was going away with his parents," James mumbled, not taking his eyes off the road, "but we have a theory."

"Do I even want to know?" Lily asked uneasily.

"Probably not," Remus muttered, not looking up from his book.

"We think he's having a snog-fest with Sarah Miller, you know, that poor girl he's been stalking?" Sirius grinned.

Lily looked rather disturbed. Sirius started laughing. Remus's lips quirked up in a smile.

"Shut up!" James hissed.

"Yes ma'am – I-I mean sir," Sirius smiled innocently. James shot Sirius a dirty look in the rear-view mirror.

"I hate the free- HEY!" James's hand slammed on the horn as a car swerved in front of him. "WHAT THE _HELL_ ARE YOU DOING?!?!?"

"Er, Prongs? You do realize they can't hear you, right?" Remus glanced up, eyebrow raised.

"Now, now Prongsie, you know there is no swearing in front of the lady," Sirius grinned at Lily, who rolled her eyes in irritation.

"Go to hell," James snapped.

"Been there and back, my boy." Sirius beamed proudly.

"Then why didn't you stay there?"

"If I did, I couldn't piss you off."

"Asshole," James muttered under his breath.

"Gosh, someone has his tightie-whities in a bunch."

"Shut up, Sirius! Damn!"

"Loosen up, Prongs, babe. Hey, I bet Lils could help with _loosening_ you up…" Sirius winked at Lily who glared at him.

"Grow up," she muttered.

"Now, now children," Remus said, trying in vain to hide his grin.

"Aww Moony, you ruin all the fun." Sirius pouted.

"Well, we don't want Prongs to go to Azkaban for murdering you, Padfoot."

"Damn you Padfoot," James growled, glaring ahead.

"Sorry, dear old mum has done that already." Sirius sniffled melodramatically.

"Well, she hasn't done a very good job of it."

"Eh, don't rush her." Sirius shrugged.

"Would you two shut up already?" Remus asked, sounding annoyed, still not looking up from his book.

"Yes, please." Lily agreed in exasperation.

Sirius grinned. "Fine, fine."

Remus had put his kit by his feet, but Sirius, being Sirius, opened his, and started going through it all. In it, he found cotton swabs, a hot/cold pack –whatever the hell that meant, band-aids, gauze, elastic bandage with clips. Sirius picked up the bandage, and looked at Remus, who was too absorbed in his book to notice what was going on. Sirius unraveled it and grabbed Remus's arm.

"What the hell-?" Remus jerked his arm back, frowning.

Sirius smiled innocently. "I'm bandaging you up the Muggle way. The Muggles use this thing, right Lils?"

Lily glanced over her shoulder. "Yeah, for broken bones."

With that, Sirius pushed Remus against the door, and started wrapping it around his head.

"What in the-? Get off-! Cut it out!!" Remus pushed him off, and pulled the wrap off his head, glaring.

"I'm playing doctor, and you're my patient." Sirius frowned as Remus threw the wrap at him.

"Piss off," Remus snapped, picking up his book again.

Sirius pouted for a moment, staring sadly at the stretchy fabric in his hand.

The were all silent for about fifteen minutes.

Then: "Dammit. Traffic jam," James grumbled as the car slowed to a stop.

"Huh. That sucks," Sirius said, leaning forward, looking out the windshield, his chin by James's shoulder. James swore again under his breath.

"Now, now, no swearing young man," Sirius said in a fake motherly voice.

James's eyes narrowed irritably.

Bored, Sirius started poking James in the back of the head with a q-tip.

"Are you through?" James snapped, swatting at Sirius's hand.

"Nope!" Sirius said brightly.

"Padfoot, stop flirting," Remus muttered.

"Aww, please Moony? I _want_ to." Sirius gave him the puppy-dog eyes.

James shuddered. "I feel violated."

Lily glanced back, trying to sound jealous. "Sirius! Stop hitting on my boyfriend!"

"But I_ like _to flirt!" Sirius whined.

"He's not flirting back, so give it up!" Remus hit him with his book.

"Fine, I'm shunning you." Sirius stared sullenly out the window. A man singing in his car and drumming on the steering wheel caught his attention, at least for a while, as traffic began to speed up at last. The car was once again silent, except for James who was muttering profanities about Muggle traffic under his breath.

Another five minutes later, Sirius was bored yet again. He went through his kit, and pulled out some band-aids. He held a few in his hand, and glanced at Remus, who was completely absorbed in his book. Sirius opened one, stuck it on his finger and glanced at his friend. "Hey Moony… I'm sorry about what I did before." Sirius clapped his hand on the back of Remus's neck and squeezed it gently to get the band-aid to stick to the skin. Remus waved him off, but gave a small grin to assure Sirius that all was forgiven. "Is that a good book?" Sirius asked. Remus nodded.

Sirius took his hand away, a rather smug look on his face. He gazed out of the window for about fifteen seconds then exclaimed cheerfully,"Time to take the band aid off, Moony!" Sirius grinned, and ripped it off.

Remus yelped loudly, more startled than in pain. "PADFOOT!!" he yelled. He seized Sirius's kit and hit him repeatedly with it.

"Ow!" Sirius retreated to his side of the backseat and rubbed his head with a frown.

Remus threw Sirius's kit on the floor, stomped on it, and pointed his wand threateningly at Sirius. "You touch that box again, you die."

Now it got really quiet. Then again, Sirius looked too scared to defy Remus. He gazed out the window again and began to make faces at the other drivers.

Traffic thinned considerably and about ten minutes later, Sirius got bored again.

"LOOK OUT!" he yelled, pointing at a random car up ahead.

Everyone jumped, and James swerved the car, nearly colliding with another one.

"Sirius!" Lily growled, glaring.

"Yes Lils?" he smiled innocently.

"Do us a favor, and shut up!"

"I agree," James growled.

"Aw, still got that girlie underwear in a bunch, eh, Prongs?"

"Shut the hell up!!"

"_Make me_," Sirius said in a sing-song voice.

James slammed on the breaks, forgetting that they were still in traffic.

The only problem with that was the car was still on the freeway.

"James!" Lily grabbed his arm in alarm.

Sirius's face smashed into the headrest of James's seat. "Ow!"

Remus grabbed the back of Lily's seat. "Prongs!" he yelped.

James twisted around in his seat, glaring at Sirius.

"Damn, Prongs. Whip lash," Sirius grumbled, rubbing his neck.

"I'll whiplash you, you son of a-"

"James! He's just messing with you!" Lily squeaked, grabbing his arm, so he wouldn't beat Sirius to a pulp.

"Hey Prongs, if Lils got hurt, I'd have to go _kung-fu_ on you," Sirius said, holding up his fists.

"Sirius, leave him alone, or you're walking!" Lily glared at him, her eyes flashing dangerously.

Sirius shrank back fearfully. "Okay... _okay_..." he squeaked.

James turned around, suddenly realizing how many people were honking, shouting and flipping him off.

The rest of the ride continued in silence. They dropped Remus off first, then stopped at Lily's house. James thanked her for the use of her car, then he and Sirius Apparated about a mile from Godric's Hollow, and began to walk to the house.

"Well, we _must_ do that again," Sirius grinned at James as they approached the house.

"Yeah, yeah." James glared, pulling out his house key -something his dad made him carry for some weird reason- and sticking it in the keyhole.

"Oh, and Padfoot?" he turned the key. There was a click, and the door opened. "_Don't_ fall asleep tonight."


End file.
